Holly Wood

The North Pole was already making wonderful toys.

But I had questions.

Why was that toy train simply sitting there when it could make an entrance?

Why were the teddy bears standing in rows when they could be doing a chorus line?

Why did the Christmas parade have no director?

And most importantly...

WHO WAS DOING THE LIGHTING?

So I got to work.

Toy trains received a little silver-screen shine.

Dolls learned choreography.

Teddy bears discovered jazz paws.

Even the reindeer learned how to pose for their Christmas Eve photographs.

Rudolph already understood lighting.

Obviously.

Before long, I was directing the toy parade from my gingerbread chair.

Christmas had always been magical. I just made sure it knew where the camera was.

I love stars.

Movie stars.

Christmas stars.

Five stars.

Preferably five out of five.

That’s why I became the North Pole’s unofficial reviewer of absolutely everything.

Christmas lights?
★★★★★

Ginger’s cookies?
★★★★★

Santa’s sleigh?
★★★★★

Santa’s beard?

Well...

Santa once asked me how it looked.

I told him:

“Santa... don’t quit your day job.”

Some reviews require professional integrity.

These days I even review the Christmas Countdown.

If Christmas is 71.2% of the way here, I don’t just see a percentage.

I see a review.

3.6 stars out of 5.

Christmas is getting rave reviews, darling.

It just hasn’t finished production yet.

Then Ginger and I discovered something.

Ginger makes food taste spectacular.

I make things look spectacular.

This was clearly a collaboration waiting to happen.

And so:

Ginger × Holly Wood.

LIGHTS! CAMERA! COOKIES!

Ginger handles the baking.

I handle presentation.

Ginger occasionally reminds me that cookies are supposed to be eaten.

I remind Ginger that first...

we get the shot.

Eventually I decided I needed a fan club.

Then I realized something.

Normally, you write to the star.

That seemed terribly one-sided.

So at the North Pole...

the star writes to YOU.

Much better.

That’s how Holly Wood’s North Pole Fan Club works.

No velvet ropes.

No paparazzi.

No red carpet required.

Although I certainly wouldn’t object to the carpet.

Here’s something people don’t always understand about me.

I love the lights.

I love the music.

I love the costumes.

I love making an entrance.

And yes...

I really love stars.

But here’s Holly Wood’s first rule of show business:

“You don’t have to be a star to be in my Christmas show.”

At the North Pole, everybody gets a part.

Somebody has to build the toys.

Somebody has to bake the cookies.

Somebody has to feed the reindeer.

Somebody has to untangle the Christmas lights.

And somebody has to tell Jack to put that back.

Again.

Santa may get top billing.

Rudolph may have his name in lights.

And I may have my own director’s chair...

but Christmas doesn’t work without the whole cast.

That’s why I didn’t come to the North Pole because I wanted my name in lights.

I came because Christmas already had the greatest cast in the world.

And darling... you’re in it too.

No audition. No agent. No headshot. You already got the part.

The greatest production at the North Pole isn’t a movie.

It happens every Christmas morning.

Somewhere, somebody wakes up.

They see the lights.

They find the presents.

Their face changes.

And for just a moment...

Christmas feels completely real.

That’s the reaction I’m looking for.

No fame.

No fortune.

No red carpet needed.

Just a little more Christmas magic than there was before.

And if I happen to look fabulous while doing it?

Darling...

that’s just good production value.

But five-star reviews are still appreciated. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Oh, absolutely not.

In show business, we don’t say the end.

We say...

“See you in the sequel.”

So until then:

Lights!

Camera!

Christmas!

And remember—

Holly Wood.

Two words.

⭐ Five stars.